Challenge

In the past I've knowingly challenged myself towards a goal.

Like a Negativity fast. I never realized how often I can passionately be negative.

As I was trying to fast negative thoughts and speech, I would catch myself saying things like, "Oh I really hate that contestant on that show! They are really annoying and I hope they get voted off!"

Obviously, I didn't even know the person in real life but I felt entitled in strongly voicing my dislike for them.

It was quite a humbling experience that I highly recommend.

I recently found that I had subconciously issued myself a new challenge of sorts.

I've decided to dub it the "Being truly honest with myself" system.

As I go through my day and start experiencing a moment of intense emotion or feeling, instead of wallowing or fueling the situation, I keep surprising myself with taking a step back and logically addressing the situation.

One example: While driving in the middle lane (the one I wanted to be in,) I found myself stuck behind someone doing 5-10 miles under the speed limit. I immediately began to get frustrated and felt emotions forming a dark storm cloud over my head. And then suddenly I was coaching myself,
"OK, you know that if you stay in this lane, you will just get more and more frustrated/irritated. It is already affecting your focus while driving, even if you don't fully realize how. The best choice would be to safely get out of this lane as soon as possible - avoiding doing it with an attitude, like cutting over into the other and then zipping back into the middle lane practically clipping the car to prove a point - and breathe a little before moving back into the lane I want to be in." (oh yes, I think to myself in princess purple ;D)

And I was able to not let it escalate into something that lingered more than a moment, let alone followed me for the rest of the day (well other than it stuck with me because I was surprised at how smoothly the situation went.)

Or when I've been trying to make up my mind about something.
I find myself going, "I don't feel like doing that."
But when I'm honest with myself, I start to see the real reasons that are driving those feelings. They can be something in the vein of I don't want to look stupid, or just that I really don't enjoy that past time, or I believe there would be a better use of my time. 

I've been discovering a lot about myself in this short time I've started truly explaining to myself all the thoughts and motives behind the feelings that pop up and often make it seem like I have no control over or reason for experiencing. But thinking these feelings are uncontrollable or unexplainable is a deception. It's more so that I've been operating in a certain way for so long - maybe a reaction I had when I was little that I didn't know would stick with me for the rest of my life - that it's become my autopilot through all similar situations.

I really pray that I'll continue in this mode - without going to some unhealthy extreme - as I walk through life daily. It doesn't remove feelings from me, make me emotionless or something, but it helps me understand why I'm experiencing these feelings in the first place.

If you feel like joining in (on either of the "challenges" noted) I'd love to hear how your experience goes.