Use Your Words - Challenge Part 2

I don't know about you, but growing up I'd often hear (especially from mothers or an authority figure) the phrase "Use your words."

This was usually in the setting of a child throwing a fit - be it crying or screaming - or maybe mumbling or just acting out. Obviously the child needed or wanted to express something, but the way they were going about it was not communicating how best the person in authority could meet that need.

Earlier today I started wondering if this "use your words" principle was one way to explain the challenge mentioned in my previous post.
When I just let my emotions and feelings run over me than I'm not getting the needs or wants, that started the whole rush, met.
They say a sign of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.
If I get angry or depressed over and over again but expect the outcome of letting those roam free to be different, I'm just creating a crazy cycle.
And when these situations involve another person, it easily turns the whole thing into chaos.

So I'm realizing I need to use my words to figure out why I'm strongly reacting or feeling specific ways when certain things happen.
Not only will this practice help me learn more about myself, it will help any others involved to have the tools to try and help rectify or change the situation.

I realized another challenge with the "use your words":

Using my words to express what I truly mean when I just throw around the word "Love" in a myriad of ways. I use it far too flippantly. I'm not meaning that I'll feel guilt when I do use the word over something like food or animals. I mean truly expressing to myself why this thing or object attracts my attention. I'm excited to be honest with myself to find out why I "love" pizza or "loved" that dance routine. What emotions, memories, thoughts are triggered by these things? Fleshing out with words and sentences things I take for granted. I think it's especially appropriate as America approaches "Thanksgiving" - I think delving into these expansions will help me realize all the things I'm grateful to have experienced or to look forward to experiencing.

Also a challenge when it comes to expressions of anger/frustration - be it cursing or substitute cursing or just hurling insults like "stupid" and the like at others. Finding words to express frustrations in a way that can communicate what's really going on instead of defaulting to the ease of words loaded with angry meaning.



And another thing I had meant to write in the last post:

Another element to being honest with myself is admitting when I already have a mental disposition to something.
An example is that lately I've had several friends telling me about having a sugar-free diet. That sounds like a really healthy idea to dedicate yourself to. I briefly entertained it, but being honest with myself I realized in the back of my mind I was saying, "But I never could really go without sugar." So I was self-defeating myself from the get-go. I do that a lot actually. I like to mentally try on an idea, but in the back of my mind I know my actions and predisposition won't let it come true.
Knowing this means that I will have to exercise extra self-control or come up with a unique game plan to actually follow through with something I REALLY want to do. Grow myself a backbone, be an adult, and follow through with things that are a healthy stretch for my vastly underused muscles of discipline and dedication.