Whether we Live or Die, we are the Lord's

Romans 14:7-9 "⁷ For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. ⁸ For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord's. ⁹ For to this end Christ died and lived again, that He might be Lord both of the dead and of the living."

Sunday February 12, 2012 around 12:30 pm my friend of about 5 years and co-worker for the last 3 months was shot in the back of the head in a a tragic accident. On Wednesday the 15th, things were looking up - her brain swelling had gone down to normal ICP without the help of medication. Saturday February 18, 2012, Hannah Grace Kelley passed away at 10:20am.

I was able to go to the hospital on Thursday night and be in the ICU waiting room with others acting as a physical representation of the prayers and Bible reading going on around the the world for this precious sister.
It was a very emotionally intense time. I can only imagine the spiritual fatigue affecting those who were at the hospital most of the week.

We don't know why things panned out in this precise manner.
There are so many intricacies about the whole situation and things leading up to it that makes one's jaw drop when hearing.
God is evident in this - we just don't know what the evidence leads to.

I pray that the memory of Hannah will remain true and pure and not be distorted into something else. She was a bright light - always smiling and laughing.
Her family - which includes her boyfriend's family - and circle of friends were important to her. At work, she was always interested in hearing what others were up to during the week and weekend. The way she would dote and rave over her adorable little dog at home was so endearing.
She loved the Quadruple Chocolate Chip Cookies from Casey's Cookies (which is owned by the same people who run Sticky Jewelry where we worked together) and there was a joking battle around the office to see who could pick them out of the tray first between all the employees.
When I was working for Sticky J in customer service during the 2011 Christmas Rush, Hannah was always willing to help me figure an answer out for a customer. She was steady and caring and professional all at the same time while taking the array of phones calls. Our mutual obsession with hand sanitizer was amusing to everyone else in customer service.
When I transitioned into working at Casey's Cookies at the beginning of 2012, I was glad that I'd still be able to see Hannah in the afternoon once I was at Sticky J after finishing up at the Kitchen. I even got the cubicle next to hers this time around.
Her quirky, perky personality was so unique and her laugh was also one-of-a-kind. Always a joy to see her peaking out of her cubicle with a twinkle in her eye.
It was a blessing to witness the growth in Hannah from the girl eager for Christ that my family used to take to Youth Group into the young woman who's foundation in the Lord encouraged so many.

On Friday the 10th, I had a work phone call keep me a lil past my normal quitting time of 5pm. I walked out of my cubicle to grab something and noticed Hannah had already left for the day. I distinctly remember thinking, "Ah man - didn't get to say goodbye or hear what she was up to this weekend."
In life we can't worry over what might be the last thing we say to someone.
I've been thinking over the no-win mentality that can stem from agonizing over things like this.
I'm sad I didn't get to see her smile one last time as we said a merry goodbye to each other as the week drew to a close.
On the other hand, the thought that our last words to each other would have been "Enjoy your weekend!" if we had been able to catch each other would probably be a painful memory in hindsight of how that weekend turned out.
God knows why we didn't get to have our usual weekend parting.
We can't see the scope of how life is actually going to play out.

James 4:13-15 "¹³ Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit'— ¹⁴ yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. ¹⁵ Instead you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.'"
This should not make us fearful - this should inspire us to passionately seek our loving God's will for our lives.
The two main things I'm finding myself petitioning God for wisdom and strength in is the knowledge that
1) God is good.
and
2) Our hope comes from Christ and should be invested back into Him.

Hope is something I have had my battles with. This situation had been the final push to look at what the Bible says about hope. There are so many, that I'm going to devote a separate blog to things sparking in my mind from reading them all together as seeing the common threads of how we should Hope in Christ. Here are a few that are specifically comforting.

Psalm 39:4,5, & 7 "O Lord, make me know my end
    and what is the measure of my days;
    let me know how fleeting I am!
⁵ Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths,
    and my lifetime is as nothing before you.
Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath! Selah
⁷ And now, O Lord, for what do I wait?
    My hope is in You."

Psalm 42:1-5 "As a deer pants for flowing streams,

    so pants my soul for You, O God.
²My soul thirsts for God,
    for the living God.
When shall I come and appear before God?
³ My tears have been my food
    day and night,
while they say to me all the day long,
    “Where is your God?”
⁴ These things I remember,
    as I pour out my soul:
how I would go with the throng
    and lead them in procession to the house of God
with glad shouts and songs of praise,
    a multitude keeping festival.

⁵ Why are you cast down, O my soul,
    and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation"

Romans 8:18-30 "⁸ For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. ¹⁹ For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. ²⁰ For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it, in hope ²¹ that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God.²² For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. ²³ And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. ²⁴ For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? ²⁵ But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
²⁶ Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.²⁷ And He who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. ²⁸ And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose. ²⁹ For those whom He foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, in order that He might be the firstborn among many brothers. ³⁰ And those whom He predestined He also called, and those whom He called He also justified, and those whom He justified He also glorified."

Finally, from 1 Corinthians 13 ~ "Love...hopes all things...For we know in part and we prophesy in part,  but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. "

Faith, Hope, and Love are bonded together.
It is the Hope of our Salvation to Eternal Destiny with God that strengthens our Faith, so that we can live out Love as Christ intended - unafraid, unreservedly zealous.

One of my friends on Facebook encouraged me greatly by posting, "There really is no guarantee about tomorrow, only eternity."
I pray that I will be more resolute than ever on seeking my Heavenly Father's heart and knowing His purpose for this precious life He has gifted me. This lifestream is His - how does He want me to pour out to others?
May I be as a drink offering to my Lord.

In loving memory of Hannah Grace - your gracefulness and love through Christ have brought all who heard of your lifestream on this world a glimpse of Heaven.